Wisdom of the Idiots: Part 8

Wisdom of the Idiots: Part 8 - Horatio Holds the Bridge.

I was contemplating the relative merits of the Persian Love Poets and their Elizabethan derivatives. You know, Sir Philip Sidney and that lot. Not bad, I thought, and moved on to notice how shiny my new boots are. The four stages of psychotic breakdown came to mind and I thought about that for a while. It all seemed quite reasonable and beyond my ability to improve so I left it. I then indulged in a small ego power trip fantasy until the need for my dinner brought me back to real life. I counted the stairs again on the way down to the kitchen. There are always thirteen. I got the counting thing from the army when I had been counting something just before I was blown up. It was all a bit mad at the time. I thought I might do a bit of weeding in my veg patch after dinner. But first I went for a bit of a wander.

So, how did Horatio hold the bridge? He must have been awfully good at paying attention to things. I struggle a bit there. Not a strong point you might say. Horatio must have been very focussed. A bit like I used to be back in the days before I started counting things, and I find myself asking
“If Horatio had survived all that 'holding the bridge' thing might he have started counting things?”
I know for a fact they had stairs in those days.
Alas, however, heroes who hold the bridge tend not to live long enough to count anything. There's a very low life expectancy in that job. It was the same at Stamford Bridge when that lone Viking fellah held up Harold's army. Still, he probably couldn't count anyway. Vikings weren't big on education for the masses.

You see, it's all about focus, being present, being aware of the details and not being distracted. Thirty second adverts; three minute songs and cartoons and then we're off to something else somewhere else. It can be difficult when everything around us compresses us down to a goldfish-style three minute memory and the novelties just keep coming.
Musashi.

In Wisdom of the Idiots: Part 9; we follow up our Sexually Motivated Car Crime series with a look into crime-cult porno magazine “True Mechanics” and we pay tribute to last Saturday's victims of cupboard love.